Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize