Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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