piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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