the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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