went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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