Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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