jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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