The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
