I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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