we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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