he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
