I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
