good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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