I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
