Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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