he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
