Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
