There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize