do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.