The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.