I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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