I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
