I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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