My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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