I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
