"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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