Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
