Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
