the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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