question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
