You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
