If that was your dad, he is hot
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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