Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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