Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
