our cab driver is having phone sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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