Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
