I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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