Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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