Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
