I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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