I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
