Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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