dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
