well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
