Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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