Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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