Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
