Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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