she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
