is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
