nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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