Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize