also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
