I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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