ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
