I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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