Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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