I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
