U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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