I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize