He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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