I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
