It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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