He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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