I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
