Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
