this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
