I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and she was petting her beer can
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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